Sachiko and Yumi
by Teresa Kaiju
Summary: Yumi is tempting the very proper Sachiko to break out of her strict upbringing. Shoujoai of course.


None of these characters belong to me of course.

A shoujo-ai story.

This begins with the final scene of the second season.

Sachiko and Yumi

We were holding hands and looking into each others eyes when I gave words to the feelings that were in my heart. "I love you!" I said to Yumi with as much feeling as I could put into the words. After a moment she replied, "I love you so much Onee-sama!". It was just what I needed to hear. After another moment she let go of my hands and embraced me again, I was happy to hold her in my arms and press her body tightly to my own. It was like she was a part of me that I had lost and now had found again. Once more I was complete. The pain had left my heart and I was at peace inside.

I felt a sudden urge to express my feelings in an even more personal way by kissing her on her forehead as my grandmother used to do to me. But at the same time that I angled my head and bent down to reach her forehead, she must have leaned her head back and raised up sharply. Because I suddenly felt something really soft against my mouth. Not her forehead. As I opened my eyes, I realized it was Yumi's lips that were against my own. I was shocked. I knew I should pull my head back immediately, and I tried, I really did. But I just couldn't move. It may have been just two or three seconds but it seemed longer. Much longer.

When I did manage to pull away from her, it dawned on me what I had just done. I had kissed my little sister on her lips! She would hate me! She would give me my rosary back and never want to see me anymore! If only I had pulled back the instant we had touched, I could claim it was just an innocent accident. But I hadn't done that. I had kept my lips on hers, and... and enjoyed it...

Then I realized that Yumi hadn't pulled away from me. She had just laid her head against my chest and continued to embrace me. Perhaps I had a chance. So I spoke softly to her. "That was an accident"  
"I know." she replied. "It was my fault. I moved too suddenly. I just wanted to look you in the eyes as I told you how wonderful you are. Please forgive me." My fears had been foolish. I thought as relief filled me.

"Of course. It was no one's fault. It just happened." Everything is all right again...

But that night as I lay in my bed, I kept feeling Yumi's lips on mine. And it felt good. And I wished I could feel them again, and again. And these kind of thoughts would not leave me alone. I admitted to myself that I've had thoughts like this before, but never so strong. Of course I had never kissed a girl before either. And not just any girl. It was my Yumi. Whom I love.

The next day at school thoughts of Yumi were still filling my mind, but I would not let it show. I've had many years of practice hiding my feelings, so it wasn't particularly difficult. Even though the way Yumi was acting certainly did not help. She seemed upset sometimes and the rest of the time she seemed depressed. I asked her several times to tell me what was bothering her but she would not admit to having a problem. And I was afraid it was that kiss. And the thought that I had harmed her worried me even more than my own weakness. 

In an effort to force the subject I invited Yumi to spend the following Sunday with me at my house. She accepted, but hesitantly. As if she were afraid to be alone with me. It was a painful thought.

--------

When she arrived that Sunday, It was obvious she was still upset. I could see she was trying to hide her feelings but as usual she wasn't doing a very good job of it. After we had had tea I took her outside to show her the garden.

When we got to a quiet place at the back we sat on a bench and I once again asked her what was bothering her. After a long pause she began speaking to the ground in front of her. "I can't forget what happened last Sunday." With this my fear was in my throat. It grew as I waited for what she would say next. "I keep thinking about it. And dreaming about it." I had no idea I had hurt her so badly! I thought to myself, but before I could say anything she continued. "So yesterday I asked my mom about what I was feeling. And she said it was okay. That it was not a sin for a girl to fall in love with another girl. Or even for two girls to kiss. It's just that some girls are different from others. Like Sei is, I guess. That's why I would get so upset every time she put her arms around me. I was afraid that I would like it. I was afraid I was like her." 

What? I thought through my shock. 

"But now I can say it." she continued firmly. "I am like her. There, I've admitted it. So anyway, I can't lie to you anymore. That kiss last week wasn't really an accident. I took advantage of you. I saw your lips coming close to mine, instead of pulling back I moved to meet you. I wanted to kiss you. I've wanted to for a long time. And in that instant I realized that would be the only chance I would ever have. So... Here." As I tried to digest what she had just said I realized she was holding my rosary out to me while still looking at the ground. "I betrayed you and I don't deserve to be your little sister." Now she was crying. I just sat there for a moment. It was too much too quick. Yumi kissed me on purpose? And now she wanted to break up? I shook my head to try to clear it, and then finally managed to speak.

"No, Yumi. I don't want that back. Please put it back on." Then I stopped. Should I tell her? Can I even say it out loud? I had to think about this. I don't do things on impulse. But she had confessed to me. She trusted me. And she had the courage. After a moment, I took a deep breath and decided. "You are no different than I am. I wanted to kiss you as well. That's why I didn't pull back immediately. I was... enjoying it. And I want to thank you for giving me the courage to admit that out loud."

"Onee-sama!" Now she was looking at me with this really shocked look. 

"Yes?" I asked. But she just stared at me for a bit.

"You really wanted to... kiss me?" I had to push myself to answer her.

"Yes. I did... And I still do." I finished softly as I looked at her mouth. She turned away and looked at the ground again as her face turned very red. And from the feeling in my face I was probably getting rather red too. I had to close my eyes to calm myself. Then I heard Yumi speak very softly.

"You want to kiss me again?" 

"Yes." I admitted. "But I mustn't!" Just because your mother believes it is acceptable doesn't mean that my mother would also find it acceptable." If she found out. I thought to myself. It was tempting. So tempting. She actually wanted my kiss. That's what made it so hard. "Let me show you around some more." I said, trying to change the subject. 

"Sure!" she smiled as she replied. My tour ended in my room. I closed the door and we were alone. No one would come in without my permission. I sat on my bed and closed my eyes. I wanted her. My innocent little Yumi. Kissing her was all I could think of. I felt it all through my body. Up until this moment I had thought that I couldn't get this emotional about anything anymore. But it seemed I was wrong. After a moment more of reflection, I admitted to myself that I wasn't going to let her get out of my room without a kiss. When I opened my eyes she was standing right in front of me.

"Would you sit here beside me, Yumi?" She sat down about a foot away without saying anything. When I moved up close to her and put my arms around her, she responded by putting her arms around me and looking up into my eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her and she replied without hesitation.

"Yes." With that I started kissing her. Very gently, just barely touching my lips to hers. She just sat there with her eyes closed and let me do as I pleased at first, but after my kisses grew more heated she started kissing me back. And making little sounds. The combination of the feel of her lips and the sounds she was making, got me terribly excited. As I felt myself losing control, I pulled back and took some deep breaths, trying to calm my mind and my body. But as I was doing this she leaned up against me, putting her face against my neck and started kissing me softly. This made it impossible for me to calm myself. I wanted to pull away from her but it was like I couldn't move.

"Yumi? Please stop. Please." My voice sounded strange in my ears. But she did stop and pull back.

"What's the matter Onee-sama?"

"I can't stand it! I want you so much, Yumi."

"I want you too, Onee-sama."

"Don't call me that! Not here. Not like this."

"Then what should I call you?" she asked softly. 

"Just... just call me Sachiko. When we are alone like this."

"Okay, Sachiko." She replied with a little smile.

"Yumi? People think I'm strong and hard. But I'm not. I'm weak. I just hide my feelings. Except where that bastard that I must marry was concerned. But with your help I became strong enough to not be afraid of him. I had a crush on him once. And this gave him the power to hurt me. I am over that now, but... After what just happened, I'm afraid again. Afraid of you."

"No, Onee- Sachiko! Please don't be afraid of me! I would never do anything to hurt you." I felt guilty. I had upset her. 

But she doesn't understand how dangerous she is. She could make me do things I shouldn't. In fact she has already made me do things I shouldn't I thought to myself. So? And just how did she make you kiss her? a little voice inside me asked. And this made me question my assumptions. She didn't make me do anything. She just enabled me to do what I really wanted to do all along. "You are right, Yumi. It's not you that I am afraid of; it's me. I was taught to always be in control. And I learned my lessons well. So I hide my feelings and always behave properly. But now, with you so close, and so willing, I'm very afraid I will lose that control and do something I will regret." With this admission, to Yumi and to myself, things became clearer in my mind.

"And what could you do that would be so terrible? She softly challenged me.

The thought came to me instantly but I had to force my lips to say the words. "I could tear your clothes off and take advantage of you." When I finished, I looked at her and was surprised at how calm she was looking at me. Then as I watched she gently took my hands and placed them on her blouse.

"Go ahead. Tear them." She said with just a hint of a smile. At that moment I realized that I couldn't actually do such a thing to her. And the realization seemed to ease the fear that was tormenting me. I took my hands off her chest and put them around her again, pulling her close against me.

"Oh Yumi, you look so young and innocent, but inside you are more mature than I am." I felt a smile on my face as I spoke and saw it mirrored on her face. 

"No, I'm not mature at all. Really. I act very silly and immature all the time. But you are my favorite subject and I study you a lot. So I know you. And you would never tear anyone's clothes off. And besides you don't need to. If you want my clothes off, all you have to do is ask." The image that jumped into my head shocked me.

"Don't, Yumi! Please! Don't tempt me. I must not even think of it." I tried to pull away from her but she held me tightly and laid her head on my chest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." she assured me. And after a moment I stopped trying to pull away and put my arms back around her.

"At the moment I am having difficulty dealing with my feelings. And I cannot accept what we are doing. I'm not a very flexible person. And I have been taught, and always believed that romantic relations between girls is wrong. Even though I am aware that many people consider it to be perfectly acceptable."

"Like Sei?" she suggested.

"Yes. Like Sei. I have always found her behavior to be very improper. And now I find myself doing the very same thing. So I can't help but feel ashamed of myself. I really should tell you to go, but... I can't. I really don't want to let go of you." I realized I wanted very much to kiss her again. And as if she could read my mind she pulled back just a bit and offered her lips to me. I could not resist this temptation. So I started kissing her soft sweet lips again. And it felt so good. And so right. How could this be wrong? I asked myself. And I had no answer to give. 

As we continued to hold each other and touch each other and kiss, all very gently and sweetly, a fire was building inside me. I knew what it was. My body was yearning for much more than this innocent petting. But I would NOT allow it. What we were doing was bad enough. I would not break any more rules. Or so I told myself just as Yumi's touches and kisses started getting less innocent. Despite what I had just told myself I started to respond to her increased passion. But then suddenly I seemed to see my mother's face in my mind. My father may have loose morals but my mother did not. And I would not either! I froze for a moment and then carefully pulled away from Yumi. As soon as I did she stopped and pulled back too. 

"I'm sorry... Sachiko. I was losing control."

"That's okay Yumi. I understand. I want you too. But this is wrong and we must not do it. If you don't mind, I think you should go home now." She looked stricken for a moment and then she calmed herself and nodded. 

"Of course. Please just let me wash my face and I'll go." 

--------

I rode in the back of the car with Yumi, but we didn't talk at all. As usual Yumi's mood was on her face. She was clearly disappointed that I had called an end to our illicit little romance. But when she noticed my watching her she smiled at me. And of course, being Yumi it was an honest smile. I was confident that she would get over this incident and would continued being the excellent little sister that she had been.

By the time I dropped Yumi off at her house, I had myself convinced that everything would be fine. And by the time I got back to my house, I found I couldn't think of anything but Yumi. The rest of the day I kept myself busy, doing things and assuring myself that this obsession with Yumi would pass. This worked fairly well until it was bed time. Then as I lay there in my bed I could feel Yumi's soft body against my own, smell her hair and taste her lips. I wanted her SO very much. But it could not be. I kept telling myself this over and over until I finally dozed off.

--------

The next morning thoughts of Yumi kept slipping into my mind, but I was confident that I could get through the day without much difficulty. After all I had had many years of practicing my self control. And the day did go quite well until after class when I went to the rose mansion for our meeting. Yumi, who is famous for being the last to arrive to any meeting, was waiting for me. She was standing there all alone in the meeting room and looking at me with such longing in her eyes. "Good day, Onee-sama." she greeted me with a weak smile. It took every bit of my self control to act like nothing had changed between us.

"Good day, Yumi." I managed to say in a normal voice. But my attempt at a smile was unsuccessful. As I took my notes out and looked them over the others started arriving and I was safe. 

Safe that is, until the meeting ended and I had finished writing up my notes and putting them in my folder. That's when I looked up and found that everyone else had left. Everyone but Yumi that is. And she was standing with her back against the closed door. The door I had to leave through. I ignored the quiet warning that was whispering in the back of my mind and set off to leave with complete confidence. 

I paused when I was near Yumi and looked questioningly at her, expecting she had something to say. But she didn't say a word, she just moved towards me and then suddenly she was in my arms and I was holding her firmly against myself. It felt so very good to hold her. I wanted to kiss her as well, but I managed to restrain myself. "Good night Yumi. Sleep well."

"Good night Onee-sama." she replied as I let go of her and she moved away. And then I was out of that room and away from temptation. When I got home, it was another evening of trying not to think of Yumi. Trying to concentrate on anything but her soft sweetness.  
This pattern continued day after day. Seeing Yumi was painful, but the thought of not seeing her was far worse. As the days went by my health grew worse. I was hardly eating anything and not sleeping nearly enough. I grew weak and developed dark circles under my eyes. I couldn't concentrate on my studies and got a very low score on a History quiz, which surprised the teacher. But I would NOT give in to my desires. On Friday, Mother sent me to our doctor. She, of course, could find nothing wrong with me other than being very tired. She gave me some pills to help me sleep and sent me home.

That night the pills helped and I fell asleep at a reasonable hour, but the next morning I was unable to get up at my usual time and have breakfast with my mother. I still felt tired as I tried to catch up on my studies.

Then late that afternoon there was a knock on my door. "Onee-sama? It's Yumi." I practically ran to the door and pulled it open. It wasn't my imagination, she was really there. I wanted to pull her into my room and lock the door, but I knew I must not do it. While I struggled inside Yumi got a worried look. "Onee-sama? Are you alright?

"I'm fine, Yumi. And it's very nice to see you, but-"

"Your mother called me and invited me to dinner. I am here to cheer you up." she finished with a sweet smile.

Her words and smile did not help my self control, and again I hesitated before speaking. "That's wonderful. Shall we go downstairs?"

We sat in comfortable chairs and talked, or rather Yumi talked and I listened until dinner was ready. We joined my mother in the dining room and as we ate she tried to make polite conversation with us. But unfortunately all I could think about was Yumi, sitting there right across the table from me and looking wonderfully cute. This made it nearly impossible for me to hold an intelligent conversation. And the usually talkative Yumi hardly spoke the whole meal.

Then as we were eating our dessert Mother was talking about when I was young. "Remember Sachiko, how you used to love to go to your friends sleepovers?" I casually nodded as she continued, "Wouldn't it be fun to have Yumi here for a sleepover? There is plenty of room in that large bed of yours for both of you." The image this brought to mind made it impossible for me to speak. As I sat there looking at Yumi I felt the heat that had been troubling my insides all rushing to my face. I knew I was blushing and I could see that Yumi was blushing furiously as well. As I answered I prayed that my mother hadn't been watching us. 

"I think we are a little old for that sort of thing now, aren't we Yumi?" She didn't speak but nodded; too many times. She was obviously very shaken by Mothers question and as usual she showed it plainly. Mother made no mention of Yumi's reaction to her question but I was sure that she had noticed it. I was afraid she had noticed my reaction as well. So when she put Yumi in front of the big television and took me up to her room I felt like I was on my way to the executioners ax.

I sat as she directed and waited, showing no emotion, just as she had taught me.

"I will get right to the point so we don't keep Yumi waiting too long. I noticed both of you kept glancing at each other and then quickly looking at your food. As if you were afraid of being caught looking. And this reminded me of something that happened when I was in Lillian, in tenth grade. A friend of mine and her Onee-sama used to look at each other that way. And then one day I saw them kissing. When I talked to my friend she admitted that she and her Onee-sama were in love. So I tried asking you about the sleep over and your blushes I think confirmed my suspicions." I continued to look at her calmly and say nothing. She nodded to me as if I had agreed with her and went on.

"I have failed to teach you one very important thing you need to know in order to enjoy your life. I have been putting it off until you are older and it seems I put it off too long. And for that failing I apologize to you."

"I taught you how to behave in public and you learned your lessons well. However I failed to teach you that there are times when you must break the rules. The important thing is not to get caught." I was shocked at what she seemed to be saying. "For instance. I was forced to marry a man I disliked very much. And when I talked to my mother about how miserable I was, she simply told me to get a lover. Men do it rather openly but that is accepted in our culture. When women do it, it must be hidden very carefully." She smiled at my frozen expression and went on. "So when I met a wonderful man who fell in love with me, I let him seduce me. And we have been lovers ever since. He too was married against his will and longed for love. So we found it with each other. We could not live together or even see each other very often, but at least we had a day here and a couple of days there." and I have made do with that." 

"I never even suspected such a thing." I said still in shock. To think, my mother, whom I thought of as perfection was in fact, little different than my father. My world had shattered.

"Then, I guess we were successful in keeping our relationship a secret." Now my daughter, whom I love more than anyone, is being forced to marry a man who not only doesn't love her, but prefers the company of boys. I knew you were unhappy, even though you didn't show it, but I still kept putting off this talk. Now I find that my daughter has a lover, but it's a girl. And after getting over my surprise I realized that this was a very good thing."

"A GOOD thing!" I burst out with. "How is it a good thing?!"

"Because, my perfect daughter, you can live with the one you love and no one will suspect. You can sleep with her every night if you wish. You can't do that with a male lover. So you are in a position to be far happier than you could otherwise be. And as an added bonus you don't have to be careful to not get pregnant before you are married."

"But isn't it WRONG for two girls to..." I couldn't even say it.

"No dear. Love is never wrong. It doesn't matter if it is with a man or with a woman, as long as both people love each other truly it is a beautiful thing. So enjoy your love, but be very careful that no one finds out about it." As I digest this amazing revelation, Mother hesitates a moment, then continues. "Does Yumi's mother know about her feelings for you?" I had to take a deep breath before I could speak.

"Yes. And she doesn't seem to have any problem with it."

"Excellent! That makes it even better. So you see, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Just remember to always be discrete. NEVER show your affection in public. You never know who might be watching. Now do you have any questions?" As I went over what she had just said it seemed clear enough. Now if I can just convince myself to believe it.

"No thank you Mother. I think you have made yourself perfectly clear."

"Good. I just have one other thing to say. Of all the girls you could have fallen in love with, I'm glad it was Yumi. She is not only a very sweet girl, but she also has a love of life that makes her a joy to have around. I think she will be good for you." 

She is happy I've fallen in love with Yumi? My world had suddenly gotten very strange. 

"Now why don't you go take her up to your room and tell her what I said."

"Yes. Of course." It felt rather like I was in a dream. But it was real, wasn't it? As I went downstairs, I assured myself that the talk I had just had with my mother had really happened. And as I digested this, the possibilities came to mind and I felt my face get hot for the second time in one day. Suddenly it penetrated and felt like the world had just been lifted off my shoulders. Yumi and I were free? To do what we wanted to? It just seemed too good to be true, like there had to be a catch to it. 

By the time I got back to the television room however I was beginning to feel kind of giddy. Like I was nine years old and it was Christmas morning. Yumi was flipping channels and looking nervous. "Yumi?" She turned and answered very quickly.

"Yes, Onee-sama?"

"Would you mind coming up to my room?" I politely asked her while showing no emotion. She looked worried and I almost laughed but that would have spoiled the surprise. 


End file.
